How to Be a Fearless Leader

It occurs to me that despite being an almost totally obscure internet blogger and world-renowned Future Generator, I don’t produce very many how-to guides. As I understand it, when you are as amazing a person as myself everyone wants to be like you. This obligates the amazing person to provide a how-to guide so that admirers and hangers-on can attempt to emulate your greatness. If they succeed it further demonstrates exactly how great you are, and if they fail then it does exactly the same thing.

Interestingly, when I started thinking about how to go about instructing my Dear Readers on how to be as excellent a person as myself, I drew a complete blank. Being myself is completely effortless to me and frankly I have no idea how I do it. Chalk it up to another one of the Great Mysteries of the Universe along with “Why does toast always land jelly side down?” and “Why doesn’t the US use the metric system?”

Never let it be said that I do not provide a valuable public service, however. Because I have been studying Fearless Leaders of many different kinds over the past few years, I feel uniquely qualified in instructing you on how to become one. Yes, you too can become a Fearless Leader!

Here then, are the things you must do in order to Fearlessly Lead. They are presented in no particular order because of course different Fearless Leaders place emphasis on different styles, but all of these conditions are necessary to some degree if you hope to be successful.

  1. You must become obsessed with details. – Fearless Leaders are only ever concerned with details. At no time should you ever attempt to identify or attempt to solve a larger pattern or problem. The only way anything can ever be accomplished is through the unrelenting obsession over the tiniest detail. Additionally, if you ever hope to get anywhere you must make absolutely sure that all of your minions feel the weight of getting every detail perfectly correct.
  2. Fearless Leading is about 3 things: Appearances, Appearances, Appearances. – You might be tempted to think that quietly doing a good job is enough to be considered a quality Fearless Leader. You could not be more wrong. In fact, doing any kind of job at all is entirely incidental to appearing to a good job. You must be seen, heard,  and (if possible) photographed at regular intervals where actual work is going on. It’s not important that you do any of the work, be responsible for the work being done, or even know anything about the work.
  3. Fearless Leaders are immune to criticism or doubt. – Even the possibility that you might not be 100% correct at all times must be scrubbed from your awareness. At no time can you allow any inconsistency, illogic, or incompetence to disturb your perfect contentment or confidence in your own excellence. For example, the fact that you have never attempted what you’re asking your minions to do should in no way affect your ability to judge the success of your minion.
  4. Sell your soul to your Fearless Leader. – It is highly unlikely that you are the Fearless Leader in Chief which means that you are the minion of an even greater Fearless Leader. You must enthusiastically believe everything your Fearless Leader says. This guarantees that the maximal amount of power flows through you to your minions and increases your power. If you actually are the Fearless Leader in Chief, then you must sell your soul to yourself. I recommend an altar (something modestly done in gold leaf of course; don’t want to overdo it!) with a mirror on it.

And there you have it, Dear Readers! A simple How-To Guide to Fearless Leading! Don’t worry that everyone will follow these simple steps and all become Fearless Leaders. This is, in fact, the actual goal. No organization can have too many Fearless Leaders! Things can only become more awesome!