So another school year is set to begin. Minutes from now, “students” will slope through my door and stare blankly around themselves until I gently direct them to a seat where they will stare at me with a mix of horror and confusion until the bell rings and they slope out again.
People keep asking me how long I’ve been Generating Futures and try to joke good-humoredly about retirement. The truth is that in every Future Generator’s career is a moment when you realize that you are going to die here. No lasting difference or improvement will have been made and your life’s work will be as ephemeral as the Axe Body Spray of your students. Other professionals can aspire to making lasting impressions; a new surgical or care technique, a building or work of art that will last generations, or perhaps a scientific discovery that will ensure your name is remembered for a thousand years. Future Generators, not so much. What was the name of the last great innovator in Future Generation? How did they change the world with their work?
It’s possible that I’m being overly dramatic and pessimistic. After all, doesn’t every great story have its nadir? Perhaps this year as the Abyss and I engage in our ocular tete-a tete, the greatness we have all suspected lay dormant within me will rise up and reveal itself. Perhaps this is the year when my genius for Future Generation will be made manifest and the grateful masses of humanity will begin to compose odes to me.
In fact, the more I think about it, the more certain I am that this will be the case. This year is definitely going to be the Year Everything Turned Around. When you combine my genius with the advent of revolutionary professional development sessions which included such amazing techniques like “take attendance every day,” “use Google Classroom,” and “Don’t forget about Top-Down Topic Webs” the next step in the evolution of Future Generation is almost guaranteed.
To commemorate this pivotal point in history, I’ll be selling T-shirts and coffee mugs with quotes and aphorisms attributed to other people which will sound particularly relevant to your life today when I say them out loud. The store will open next week, so be sure to have those checks ready!