So how have you been lately, Dear Readers? Has your life been a source of joy and inspiration? Have you perchance discovered the Secret to Enlightenment? If so then I am truly happy for you and wish you a long and prosperous life. (Unless you’re that clown that won 400 million dollars in the lottery yesterday; if you’re that guy give me a lot of money or I’ll hate you forever.)
How have I been, you ask? What color is the sky in RW Land? Well, as usual the Universe giveth and the Universe taketh away. Since my last post, I have come into possession of the Ultimate Dork Machine, which I have affectionately named “Ted.” Ted is a very tricky machine to learn to operate, but the last few times I’ve ridden him, he’s not dumped me on the side of the road so I think that I’m getting the hang of things. So the Universe has given me a new fun bike to ride and taken away my ability to ride it.
Here in the Basilica of Bountiful Beatings the Universe has been busy. We were given days off due to inclement weather and then had our pay taken away for not being at school. We were also given mandatory county-wide teleconference meetings to attend after our work day and then had them taken away when every single teacher who heard about them declared them useless and promised to only use the meeting time to mock our Fearless Leaders.
Don’t get me wrong, though. Things are looking up. Just this morning I heard a rumor that the county commissioners are contemplating canceling our supplement (for those of you who don’t know, it’s a locally funded extra paycheck designed to entice teachers to certain counties). Apparently having a job and living next to our increasingly polluted ocean is reward enough.
All this giving and taking is so much fun I can barely stand it! Just think about how boring life used to be only a short time ago when everything was more or less stable and people could predict their schedules, paychecks, and the feeding of their children. Do you really want to go back to those terrible days of placid normality?
Yeah, that’s what I thought.