Don’t sweat the petty things.

There is a segment of the staff here in the Maw of Marmalade Miscreants that thinks that what we do is slightly more important than how we do it. These people tend to be rather more intently focused on content and rigor and leave the issues of dress code (for both students and staff) and attendance policy to smaller minds. 

You could make the argument that those things are important, but can you say that they are as important as making sure that our next generation is at least as scientifically or historically literate as your average rhesus monkey? Maybe it is just me, but I think that is a tougher sell.

Normally, these two segments of our staff don’t interact much. They are focused on entirely different things after all, and there isn’t much in common to discuss between them.

You would think that between No Child Left Behind, Race to the Top, the Wall of Shame, and the daily barrage of emails from “concerned parents” that the portion of the staff concerned with a rigorous and relevant education would be given priority; unless of course you are familiar at all with how public education actually works.

In the latest stroke of complete ineptitude, our Fearless Leaders have decided to ramp up their campaign to make sure that every single one of our teachers files an electronic attendance report within the first 5 minutes of class for every period. Now, in addition to color-coded emails you’ll be receiving a visit in person from an Ass. Fearless Leader who will stand in your classroom and stare at you until you stop teaching long enough to log in your attendance.

Every day, it feels a little more like this:

I’m not a Fearless Leader, but I imagine that if I had given a group of dedicated people a ridiculously difficult job to do, I might possibly prioritize which daily duty (in the current list of 4,120) is most important and really focus on that. I imagine that if I instead chose random things to focus and harass my staff about, it might make me look like a barely competent douchebag who has little/nothing of importance to do in a day beyond thinking up stupid shit to bother people about.

Ever since I was very young, I have responded to such provocations in a completely inappropriate way which I refer to as “poking the bear.” So just for fun, I will be delaying the reporting of my attendance by increasing 5 minute intervals until I find that sweet spot that will provoke an Ass. Fearless Leader to come by my room and interrupt my lesson to ask about my attendance and I will have (in the time it takes them to arrive) completed it. I plan to do this every period of every day until they quit.

Juvenile? Yes. Unprofessional? Possibly. Still, if they are going to make it so easy, the least I can do it oblige them by playing along.

Happy Thursday!


One thought on “Don’t sweat the petty things.

  1. Dayna

    I purposely didn’t take attendance today during second period. To my astonishment they did not pay me a visit. They must have actually had work to do today! I was bummed! I was hoping the week would go out with a bang…


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