For the past several days now I’ve pulled up this page in preparation to write something so amazingly witty that even the most cynical among us would be forced to chuckle a bit.
Interestingly however, as the end of the school year approaches every time I sit down to begin writing all I hear in my head is “………………………………..” (Normally I hear the echos of children fighting and Mrs. RW begging the Goblin King to take them away) Yes, even in the charmed life of an almost totally obscure internet blogger like myself there are periods of time when nothing even slightly amusing takes place.
And then came Memorial Day.
This past Memorial Day I was tricked by Mrs. RW into attending a picnic (of sorts) with the parents of one of the Hobbit’s friends. I had never met these people before and knew absolutely nothing about them. Some people seem to think that meeting new people and talking about the most trivial subject possible is fun, but I’m not one of them. (In retrospect, this might have been why Mrs. RW didn’t tell me the plan.)
To make things even more fun, these people (the Hobbit’s friend’s parents) had invited over some of their neighbors all of whom happened to be military and all of whom had very small children.
Could this day get any better?!
I found it amusing that people who spend their days wearing odd uniforms and blowing things up because someone else told them to get to look at me with pity and concern when I tell them I’m a teacher. I only tell people that I’m an environmental science teacher if they ask (and they did) because for some reason it always leads to an “awkward” moment where they desperately try to change the subject. Am I the only one who finds that odd?
Anyway, after the initial inane small talk, we moved decidedly to more weighty matters. You guessed it, the next 20 minutes were spent talking about the finer points of toddler accessories! We covered the scope of human experience from hypoallergenic blankets to preferred pull-up diaper brands. To me, this experience was rapidly deteriorating into a heretofore undiscovered circle of hell. In fact, I briefly considered making a break for it and walking home (it was only 2 miles away), but someone had started grilling burgers and I was hungry.
Following the smell that promised some reprieve from what was quickly becoming a nightmare, I found myself in the backyard. In addition to the burgers I found a very young puppy. I immediately concluded that this was a setting more my speed and spent the rest of the evening there. I daresay that ours was the more scintillating conversation.