As I type this, there are 5 days until the start of exams, 15 days until graduation, and 24 days until the end my contractual year. Normally this would be a time for last-minute preparations and rushing around. There is a lot to do at the end of the school year and it takes the concerted effort of many to make sure it all happens smoothly.
Except that this year, things are remarkably different. For some reason I can’t understand, time has stopped. For example, this week has lasted approximately 5 years of normal time and it appears to be continuously slowing.
I have no idea what could possibly be causing this temporal disturbance, but I strongly suspect the nefarious influences of aliens. You already know how this story goes. The alien stops you in an innocent looking hallway and tilts its head to the side and stares at you with the weirdly glassy look of a fish until all of a sudden you snap to only to realize that everything and everyone around you is moving unnaturally slowly.
I have tried to speed time back up through various methods, but so far I’ve only succeeded in shocking myself a few times and discovering that my Faithful Hound looks very strange indeed with no fur.
There is one more experiment that I’m going to try before I give up as inevitable that the end of the school year will never actually arrive. With the aid of several bungee cords I’m confident that I can get the whole case onto my bicycle rack today, so keep posted for the results. Wish me luck!