Good Job, North Carolina!

(Warning: This post contains actual opinions. You have been warned.)

How can you tell that public education is working in North Carolina? Well, when the well-educated citizens of our great state were presented with a constitutional amendment that was intended to make gay marriage double extra illegal, but was so poorly written that it will also harm every child of a family outside of a legally recognized marriage or civil union; they immediately and completely rationally voted for it.

The very best part of this is that gay marriages were already not recognized by the great state of NC, so what did we gain? Was there some kind of loophole in the old law that I didn’t know about? Were same-sex marriages illegal unless both newlyweds were attractive?

I guess that what I’m most upset about is that we’re wasting our time and energy on this issue when there are so many more important things we should be worrying about. For example, years ago I signed a petition to create an amendment outlawing the sale of children to gypsies. Sure this is already illegal, but the law doesn’t specifically say anything about gypsies and we really need to get a handle on this problem before it gets totally out of control. Also, did you know that quite a few gypsies are Catholic?! I think that we all know what those people are capable of, don’t we?

Still, I suppose that single people all over the state are breathing a collective sigh of relief. Now when they go out clubbing and find themselves dancing with a homosexual they won’t have to worry about hearing that classic pick-up line, “Hey, wanna get outta here and get married?”


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