The Look of Revelations

There comes a time in every young man’s life when he realizes that he is no longer a young man. Of course universe has been telling you for years maybe that you’re no longer a young man, but young men being what they are dismiss such messages as mere coincidence, accident, or bad fortune.

The final realization can happen at any time and it doesn’t have to be a momentous or even particularly important event. I call this the Look of Revelations; it is the moment when all the small signals that the universe has been sending you finally culminate into one life-changing thought. “You are no longer a young man.”

Perhaps the young man finds himself looking forward to spending some “quality time” with his significant other and is shocked to discover that by that he means having a conversation with them. Isn’t it strange that we find ourselves having to work several part-time jobs in addition to our careers in order to afford some nice things only to discover that this prevents us from enjoying them?

Or maybe the young man finds himself irritated beyond belief by kids riding by blaring their “obnoxious and pathetic excuses for music.” I mean seriously, kids these days don’t even know… Prom is tomorrow and I’m willing to bet that I won’t hear anything by the Clarks, The Grateful Dead, Oasis, or U2. It’s disgraceful.

It is equally possible that the Look of Revelations will occur on an otherwise unremarkable day when the young man is staring into the mirror while brushing his teeth when he notices a single hair growing in the middle of his forehead. He wouldn’t have noticed it if the light hadn’t been exactly right and for a second he’s concerned, but almost immediately recognizes the truth. Today it is the middle of his forehead, but 20 years ago it was his hairline. It’s not like the former young man didn’t know his hairline was receding, it’s just that having it thrown into such stark contrast is jarring.

So now what? The Look of Revelations cannot be undone. The former young man must make some fairly important decisions. White or black socks with sandals? Republican or Conservative? Comb-over or toupee? Exactly how close to your navel will you now wear your pants?


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