Sasquatches… They Walk Among Us.

Students have been making fun of me for years. I think that this is only fair as I’ve been mocking them for at least as long and I’ve gotten pretty good at it. Of course there are the more obvious jabs about my being bald, white, and generally expressionless, but they have also made fun of the way I walk.

I never really understood this joke and simply chalked it up to their desperate attempts to find something, anything, that would finally get under my skin. Since it is almost impossible for someone see how they walk as they are walking, I had always assumed that I walked more or less normally.

As I mentioned in the last post, I was granted the opportunity to watch myself for almost a full minute and during the video clip I walked for most of that time. Disturbed by what I was seeing, last night I asked Mrs. RW if there was something strange about my perambulation.

My most recent bike ride

Not many know this, but Mrs. RW is gifted with an amazing gift for mimicry. She put this to good use yesterday by showing me how I move. At first I thought that she was exaggerating for the purposes of comedy, but the Hobbit denied it. Heavy footfalls and wildly swinging shoulders made Mrs. RW look like some poor reenactment of a Sasquatch sighting.

“Do I really look like that?”

“Not all of the time… sometimes you sit down.”

Of course I have no idea why I do this, and so I have no idea how I might change it, but it’s pretty amazing that I’ve made it this far through my life without ever realizing something so basic about myself. I wonder what other things about myself everyone seems to know but me? Apparently all of my closest friends and family (this just confirmed) have known that I’m a Sasquatch and no one said anything! Of course since yesterday afternoon I’ve been walking around thinking, “Look out, it’s a giant hairless Sasquatch! Run for your lives!”

Do you know a Sasquatch? Chances are they have no idea why small children run screaming when they approach or why teenagers mock them behind their back (of course you don’t dare mock a Sasquatch to their face; everyone has seen the commercials)

Also, I’ve decided to release the soccer video I was talking about in the last post so that everyone can see what I’m talking about. Enjoy.


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