It’s Chocolate Heart Season!

Longtime readers know that I find myself frequently perplexed by the behavior of people. Some folks have even gone so far as to suggest that this is evidence of my extra-terrestrial origins, but I’ve always assumed that they were kidding.

Interestingly, the person that I find most perplexing (by a large margin) is Mrs. RW herself. Of course, being of the female persuasion she is automatically a mystery wrapped in an enigma, but occasionally trying to understand her is a real challenge.

Attention Men: Tuesday is Valentine’s Day! I have learned long ago that even though you might be in a relationship with the most levelheaded and practical woman in the world, she will not appreciate receiving a new clothes iron (even if she was talking about how much she needed one last week). Also, if you ask what kind of gift she might like, the answer will invariably be something like, “Oh I don’t know; nothing very big or extravagant.”

IT’S A TRAP!

If you’re foolish enough to believe her, then chances are excellent that you will not have a happy holiday. A nearly as I have been able to determine, if Mrs. RW tells me that she doesn’t want me to make a big deal about something, it means that she would love for me to make a big deal about it, but would like it to be my idea.

Interestingly, when Mrs. RW tells me (this has only happened once) that she would love to have something specific and expensive, she’ll be upset and dismayed at how much money I spent when I get it for her.

It may sound like I’ve got things pretty well figured out, but you’d be wrong. Every once in a while, Mrs. RW likes to mix things up for me. Such is the case right now. She has been mentioning things that she’d like to have for a few weeks and then gone out and bought them for herself. So, was she hinting or not? Would she like more of the same? Is there a pattern or theme I’m supposed to be picking up on? Also, she has been decidedly noncommittal concerning plans for Valentine’s Day; is she telling me it’s no big deal or that I should go “all in”?

It’s a good thing that I’ve already lost most of my hair. All I can say is, “Good Luck, Boys!”

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