Death to the Infidels!

Has anyone been completely bored and depressed enough to watch any political punditry lately? I’m sorry to say that I have and it’s been enlightening. Take this “Occupy Wall Street” protest, which is currently getting a lot of press. The Talking Heads who are proud to be “sponsored” by large corporations have been having a lot of fun frothing at the mouth and shouting the most hateful invective they can think of, which mainly consists of “Un-American,” “Anti-Democracy,” “Marxist-Leninist-Stalinist-Communist-Fascists” (a philosophical combination that if it actually existed, would cause a person’s head to explode). Meanwhile, the Talking Heads who are slightly embarrassed of their “sponsorship” are hailing these protesters as brave (if misguided) folks who seem to lack a clear message while simultaneously expressing their heartfelt outrage that the other talking heads could say such means things about people and insinuating that they must be Un-American, Anti-Democracy, Marxist-Leninist-Stalinist-Communist-Fascists.

For myself, I tend to view all the Talking Heads (and most Fearless Leaders) as the televised equivalent of old people waving their canes at each other from their porch yelling about dog poop and impertinent whippersnappers. It is clear to me at least that no one has any real sense of what’s going on anymore and that no one is really prepared to deal with it yet.

I tend to draw my viewpoints from scientists and writers who were talking about something else entirely for a bit of perspective. As an example:

We are “plain members and citizens” of the biotic community. – Aldo Leopold

“When we try to pick out anything in the universe we find it hitched to everything else.” – John Muir

“Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won’t help.” Calvin and Hobbes (aka Bill Waterson)

These are some of the quotes that have helped me cultivate a “Live and Let Live” attitude towards most everything. I say “most” because there is one creature upon which I wish complete annihilation and if possible I would like it to be excruciatingly painful. As far as I can tell, these creatures don’t have any political affiliations, which is possibly why the Talking Heads have completely failed to mention the devastation that they are causing.

I’m talking of course about mosquitoes. We’ve had a lot of wet weather lately here on the coast and this has led to actual clouds of the bloodsuckers. As of this morning, one child was actually carried off (luckily she was dropped a few yards down the street and thanks to an emergency blood transfusion has survived with minor injuries) and two dogs have been found completely drained of blood.

As an environmentalist, I can recognize that every creature in an ecosystem has an important function to perform and that removing that species from it’s habitat will undoubtedly have consequences. As a human being who is currently sporting bites on top of bites, I want them all to die horribly. This weekend, I actually looked into breeding dragonflies and training them to heel so that I could surround myself in a buzzing swarm of the mosquitoes’ natural enemies.

It is becoming clear to me that mosquitoes are Un-American, Anti-Democracy, Marxist-Leninist-Stalinist-Communist-Fascists and they should be destroyed on sight. We have suffered enough under their cruel oppression and it is time to take the fight to them!


2 thoughts on “Death to the Infidels!

  1. stumpsmcgee

    You put something besides coffee in your mug again this morning didn’t you? We’ve talked about this RW… At least don’t do it on a Monday when educators are just trying to figure out how they got back to school when they don’t ever remember leaving…


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