Completely Unfunny

I haven’t posted in a ridiculously long time and for that I most humbly apologize. First there was Spring Break and then there was The Return to Work and I’m sad to say that neither event really struck me as hilarious or even mildly amusing fodder for this blog.

One of the big negatives of working here in the Obelisk of Obscurity is that the vast majority of my day is spent in close proximity to teenagers. This may sound like an odd thing for a teacher to say, but bear with me a moment while I make my point. You must understand that an increasing majority of teenagers aren’t funny. Perhaps back in the day (the 90’s) teenagers were possessed of a rare wit and charm that could have amused and enlightened, but today’s children are more or less mindless tweeting zombies of boring.

In a last attempt to get my students to say or do anything even remotely entertaining or interesting I told them that no one would be allowed to go the bathroom until one of them had something worthwhile to say about anything at all. Given that on any given work day the only question a student will ask me is “Can I go to the bathroom?” I figured that this new policy would merge the powers of their most important organ (their bladders) with their brains and they would be able to come up with something, anything, to contribute to an actual classroom conversation.

By second period I told the custodian to just leave the mop and bucket.

What I wouldn’t give to work in an office where the hilarious hi-jinks of my coworkers would entertain and distract me for minutes at a time! What sweet bliss it would be to participate in titillating and multifaceted conversations on such topics as politics (Isn’t Pres. Obama a warlock?), art (Did you see the Britney Spears rehab tape?), and family (Well my Aunt Margo’s boils are acting up again) and be able to consider such things a “break”!

Perhaps I’m being a bit of a Pollyanna here, but is it really too much to expect the next generation of corporate drones and debtors to be able to participate in any kind nuanced thought exchange with another person?

Today I’m going to try to talk to the students about the complete awesomeness that is our sun. I’ve decided to try to do it in less than 140 characters at a time. My hope is that the more familiar format will make the students more comfortable. Here’s a sample:

OMG the sun is ginormous, right? Like it’s bigger than Graham’s head, LOL. #thesunfordummies

I’ll let you know how it goes.

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