Aphoristic Leadership

The first lesson on Fearless Leadership comes in the form of a well-worn aphorism. “If you are bold enough when you present your mindless drivel to other people, they are likely to assume that you know what you’re doing.” You may be slightly more familiar with the shortened version of this particular aphorism, but I’m telling you that back in the day when it was first uttered by Cornelius Glockenfrugel in 1785, it was revolutionary. In fact, it will not have escaped the notice of our more astute readers that this is one of the founding principles of the SASS blog.

Our Fearless Leaders are generally hopelessly mired in an endless process of peer review and collaboration, which is almost certain to slow down every decision-making process to the nth degree (where “n” is the time it takes for everyone to cease caring about the question). Since it seems wildly unlikely that this Leadership Paradigm is going to change anytime soon, skillfully employing the above nugget of wisdom from Yours Truly can help shortcut the process and make it possible to get things done.

As a totally random example related to nothing, let’s pretend that in response to the nonsensical rantings of a few staff members the Idea is put forth that our exam schedule needs to be changed. Normally the process of changing a school schedule would take months (if not years) to implement due to all of the extremely delicate programs (lunch) that it would inevitably irreparably damage. However, by employing the above aphorism, our Fearless Leader can propose the most horrible kludge of an exam schedule which will require not one, but TWO special secret decoder rings to decipher (since it is largely dependent on the phase of the moon at the time of the reading), and announce with all the considerable power of the Office of Fearless Leadership behind them that this is the only possible solution to the scheduling problem.

If stated in the correct way, our teachers will be helpless in the face of such authority and will of course go along with the new schedule. Sure, there will be massive confusion, anxiety, and anger (the students will likely be upset as well) but everyone will know that this is the only possible solution to the problem and that all our previous exam schedules were barely avoided catastrophes which we’ll never have to suffer ever again.

[This is really the only thing about Leadership with which I have personal experience, but now that I’m researching the subject, don’t be surprised if I revisit the topic periodically in an effort to continue to provide sage advice to any of you considering a career in Fearless Leading.]

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One thought on “Aphoristic Leadership

  1. stumpsmcgee

    You’re taking your cue from your former high school English teacher, aren’t you? That coffee in the morning and water in your thermos isn’t really coffee or water, is it? That’s the only explanation as to why your rantings are so odd! (Of course, I actually understand them, so maybe I’m also taking a cue from that high school English teacher).

    Like

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