If I were to tell you that this school year has so far spectacularly failed to bring me joy, inner contentment, and a sense of unity with all things, you would probably not be surprised. This is because my readers know that in order for me to be properly motivated to write to you the silly and often nonsensical versions of my adventures I have to directly experience what other people associate with the concept “good” so that I can make fun of it.
Sadly this year has been full of a vague dread and apprehension that has slowly gotten worse until I am now walking down the hallways in a sideways crab-like gait in an effort to keep from being snuck up on. A more introspective and observant person would perhaps recognize this as an emotional response (appropriate or otherwise) to the many changes in teacher life at WCHS this year, but thankfully I am not such a person and so can feel free to hypothesize freely and without constraint.
Many of us have issues with the repeating crime against humanity known colloquially as “Monday,” but today’s has been especially difficult and it has brought my angst to the surface. It all started last night when the bottom fell out of the sky and approximately 4 million gallons of water fell onto my front yard. This morning it was still raining when I took my Faithful Hound out to pee. Apparently this is very difficult to do in the pouring rain so we stood there for a long enough time for my lower half to become mostly soaked through. I stopped on the porch so that he could shake off the water, but he waited and I gave up and we eventually went inside. Immediately upon entering the house he shook and sprayed dog-scented rain water all over me. Shortly after this the family was ready to go and we headed out to the car. Having blocked from my consciousness the fact that I was mostly soaked from the waist down, I entered the car as I usually do, except this time my pant legs stuck to my legs and I managed to pop a few seams. (Don’t worry ladies, it’s not enough for a show, just enough to need repaired tonight) On our way to work half the roads were flooded and so I got to practice hydroplaning and charging through puddles a foot or so deep. Now, having finally arrived at school, I stood in another puddle (re-soaking my feet) to gather my things and headed inside.
I can hardly wait for my actual day to begin! Stay tuned for my next post as I’m working up a really good rant about the latest “our teachers suck and public education needs reforming” buzz!