Note: It seems that the email subscription button is working out fairly well for folks and I’m glad that I accidentally stumbled across it. Also, in case you were nervous about sharing the fun here with other people, SASS is a secret only in the sense that some folks hate or don’t “get” my sense of humor, so why burden them with it?
Can anyone guess where I am right now? Let me narrow it down for you a bit because you are very busy people and don’t have time for my nonsense. I’m NOT at the Leadership Meeting currently being held in the large conference room! That’s right, boys and girls, my two-year sentence of having to fake charm, charisma, leadership ability, and tact are officially over! It was a titanic struggle, but I’m proud to say that I survived the ordeal with my usual class and verve.
You may be wondering how I could possibly know how well I was able to successfully fake the above? Well it just so happens that a significant minority of the faculty here at the Ziggurat of Zeal voted that I be the Appreciated Teacher of the Day during this year’s Teacher Appreciation Week. So of the five teachers that actually voted, one of them voted for me. Clearly I’ve made a significant impact on that teacher’s life and my bold example of pretending to care has touched them deeply enough that they needed to hold my work up in front of the school population and proclaim, “You should all be like RW!”
As I mentioned in a previous post, most teachers are hopelessly neurotic and will take even the smallest sign of appreciation to heart as a sign that they are valued members of society and encouragement that they shouldn’t quit just yet. So you can imagine how amazing I think it is that teachers would spend their encouragement vote on one of the more sarcastic and cynical people in existence. Wouldn’t you think that there are other people on staff more emotionally equipped to deal with praise? Don’t you think that weird bald guy that never smiles at anyone EVER needs the encouragement more than I do?
Perhaps people are simply worried that without encouragement I’d quit and they’d have to find some other sucker highly qualified professional to teach earth science. There are two reasons why the staff doesn’t have to worry about my quitting regardless of how much praise I receive: 1. The school doesn’t require me to wear a tie to work, and 2. I have no marketable skills.
I do appreciate the sentiment and it is nice to have your work (real or convincingly faked) noticed, so thank you. However, you have to know that I am going to lord this over everyone for as long as humanly possible and it is quite likely that you will come to regret having encouraged me in any way. Really, you all should have known better, or at least consulted with Mrs. RW before voting!