PC Load Letter

I suppose that there are parts of the world where people wake up on sunny Friday mornings, enjoy their usual morning routines, and breeze into work secure in the knowledge that they can handle most anything because tomorrow is Saturday and morning cartoons.

In fact once upon a time I used to be such a person. I remember fondly those Fridays; waking up 3 hours before dawn and stumbling blindly around the house tripping on toys until I somehow manage to shower and dress myself (hopefully in that order) and then hustling the kids out of the door before they are completely awake. Those days were the best days because anyone can survive work for 15 hours until the weekend.

All that changed today. As with most Fridays, I breezed into the teacher workroom to run off a quick set of quizzes. The copier was already on and warmed up, so I figured that I’d be out of there in 10 minutes at the most. So I popped my originals into the tray and my daily allotment of carefully hoarded school-approved paper into the bottom of the machine and hit the big green button.

whirr – CHUNK.

I had managed to produce exactly zero copies when the machine jammed. “No problem,” I thought, “It’s Friday. I’ll just clear out the papers and try again.”

whirr, whirr, whirr – CHUNK.

“Huh. Jammed again. That’s ok, I’ll just clear it out and try again. I’m sure all the kinks have been worked out by now.”

– 15 Minutes Later –

“I can’t believe you’ve jammed again, you worthless piece of garbage. I swear, if you jam this time I’ll…”


SUNNOVABITCH! You are so lucky I’m not armed!

So, if anyone was wondering if the copier you saw being dragged behind an activity bus this morning looked familiar, you definitely weren’t seeing things and no one spiked your coffee this morning.


2 thoughts on “PC Load Letter

  1. irishpirate81

    About a month ago, on a similar Friday to yours, I was attempting one of the most complicating, challenging parts of my job… copying a 2-sided document WITH collating and stapling. The day had started off well; I was an hour away from the weekend. I was feeling good. I was feeling strong.

    Then came a paper jam of Bilblical proportions; but I would not be deterred. The only thing standing between myself and two glorious days of freedom with this silly machine. How hard can it be to open door one, remove tray 3c, turn lever 4d counterclockwise, and simply remove a paper jam??

    The battle was epic. Legendary. People still to this day talk about it. 47 minutes after that fateful paperjam, sweaty, covered in toner, and my face streaked with tears, I finally removed that last piece of torn paper… or so I thought. When I hit that @#$% “Copy” button with such an air of triumph and arrogance, the machine promptly started smoking and caught on fire…

    As this was my second office fire in as many years, I was placed on “probation” and am now no longer allowed to operate the copier or microwave without supervision…

    True story.


  2. mrsrw

    Although I don’t have any crazy copier stories to share today, I just wanted to login and post a comment to get that crazy RockWalker off of my back! He thinks the only thing I have to do in a day is read his blog. I am a very busy and important person–just ask him, he knows it is true.

    However, I will make a more conscious effort to respond to the posts on this site. Contrary to popular belief, I do read them. I just can’t tell you that I like it RockWalker, or you head will get bigger than it is right now.

    Here’s to my first comment! I hope that I have enough time to post many more!


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