Senior Moments

The Great State of North Carolina, in its infinite collective wisdom has recently implemented an additional obstacle opportunity to the high school experience and now requires all seniors to complete a Senior Project before they are eligible to graduate. As near as I can tell the Senior Project has only two requirements; you must be able to demonstrate how the completion of this project (via a notebook) might have required someone to spend time on it and it must be something totally useless and unimportant.

The apparent goal of the students participating in the Senior Project is to try and come up with the most bizarre and useless idea and then convince a panel of community members that they spent countless hours learning how to do it. I will not be entirely surprised if someone attempts to demonstrate their mad clogging skillz this year. At least that will be loud enough to wake the judges up.

Perhaps one in eight of the students who turn in a Project accidentally do something that turns out to be interesting or useful, but this is clearly a fluke and not an intentional part of the graduation requirement. In fact, these projects receive such low scores that the judges will often ask the students if they might know how to gargle or something in a last ditch effort to get them a passing grade.

In case you were wondering this Project is widely being hailed as a rousing success and useful expenditure of resources because for many of our students it is their first opportunity to bullshit complete strangers. Up to this point, most of our students have only attempted to bullshit their parents and teachers, who are almost pathetically inclined to believe them and don’t offer much of a challenge at all. Seeing the relief and satsifaction on the faces of our students when they realize that they have successfully fooled complete strangers is an amazing moment for me as an educator; I finally know for sure that they are ready for the Real World. Perhaps even some of them will discover that they have a hidden talent for bullshit and go on to become our next Senators or (if they’re really good) Teachers.

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One thought on “Senior Moments

  1. livebait1

    It’s about time we’ve implemented something into our curriculum that actually prepares our fine youth for “real life” in the globally competitive 21st century!
    Clogging – I’ll have to recommend that to someone for next semester ; )

    Like

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