Thought of the Day

I am sure that every office and professional workspace has at least one person who has taken it upon themselves to share with you a Thought Of The Day. Here at the Campus of Calamity our Thought Of The Dayer (TOTDer) has chosen email as the most convenient means by which to share with us the aphorisms, witticisms, insights, and blatherings of other people. I can only imagine that TOTDers are driven to do this out of a sincere desire to appear witty, wise, well educated, or perhaps even humorous. I have to confess that they have failed on all counts.

First let’s be clear; they are not sharing their own thoughts or sayings. Rather they are rebroadcasting the ideas of other people, no doubt chosen at random from a book or website. How this in any way reflects positively on the person able to copy and paste into an email is beyond me. If these people had anything of interest to say I trust that they would be saying it and the fact that I’ve never seen a TOTDer provide their own quips suggests to me that they are as devoid of original thought as your garden variety flatworm.

Next there is the problem of the actual Thought. Most of these are random sentences with vague or contradictory meanings. They don’t actually provoke thought. If anything, we should refer to them as Anti-thoughts because reading them prevents actual thinking for several seconds. The only thing I’m ever able to think immediately after reading of TOTD is, “WTF?!” which hardly qualifies as a thought. As an example let’s look at yesterday’s TOTD from Bill Cosby, “A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.” Now on it’s surface we might consider this an actual thought from a well known comedian. Upon further reflection however, it is just verbal noise. He has simply turned a common phrase that doesn’t mean much of anything so that it means even less. I have no doubt that when Cosby delivered this line is was part of a larger thought and hilarious, but by itself it is the intellectual equivalent of a Jello Pudding Pop. How is this advancing thought, exactly? Where does one go from here?

For starters people everywhere need to boycott every source of TOTDs as the first step to making them illegal. Anyone caught in possession of or distributing TOTDs should be arrested, fined, and sent to a correctional facility where will hopefully be rehabilitated and taught once again to think for themselves. If we are facing serious problems and challenges are TOTDs really what we need? Can anyone seriously argue that our salvation will be found in worn out puns, platitudes, and aphorisms?

But RW, surely there is no harm in TOTDs so why get so worked up about them? If they are simply harmless amusements then who cares, really? The answer is simple and I’ll express it as a TOTD just for the sheer irony of it. “Stupid is as Stupid does.” – Forrest Gump

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