This past Labor Day the fairer members of the RW Clan took off for Manhattan, NY, and left me alone with the Faithful Hound. I was alone for 3 days! Just think of it; 3 days of solitude, 3 days without the Disney Channel, 3 days of not pretending to care what Real Housewives think about things no one cares about, and yes 3 days of not really caring what I looked like. Those SASS members that still live alone will no doubt wonder what is the big deal, but the rest of us know better and can understand that unique bliss that descends on you when you are finally, blessedly, left alone.
Needless to say to those that know me, I did not shave on any of those days and had accumulated quite a bit of stubble by Monday. Knowing that this was my last day of solitude but determined to enjoy it to the fullest, I shaved all but the moustache and goatee. I could picture the look of dismay and scorn on Mrs. RW’s face when she saw my beard perfectly in my mind and was really enjoying the consternation it was sure to cause upon our renunion. I would have a good laugh, shave the rest of it the next morning and we’d be back into the swing of things.
Barely suppressing a giggle, I drove out to pick up the girls and bring them home. I tiptoed down the driveway and carefully eased open the door and snuck into the living room. There they all were, tired but happy and patiently awaiting my arrival. (This was going to be hilarious!) When Mrs. RW finally looked up she said, “let’s get going, hun, the girls and I are beat.” – Wait, what? Didn’t you notice my new look? Aren’t you concerned that I might try to grow out my beard? I was devastated, to say the least. After we had packed everything into the car, I finally asked if she had even noticed, “O yeah, it looks good. Are you going to keep it?”
All I could think to myself is that this couldn’t be happening. I was completely undone and I had thought of no possible defense to this unexpected twist of events. It took me hours to realize what was going on. Obviously Mrs. RW had anticipated something like this and had already decided to play along with whatever I had come up with. Well two can play that that game, darlin!
In keeping with our Fearless Leaders’ Rule, I have kept my beard neatly trimmed, but it is still there and now even noticable at a distance of more than 3 feet (in good lighting)! If I’m being totally honest, it is not a very impressive beard. I’m afraid that I’ve inherited too much of my father’s genes (his razor doesn’t have a blade in it) and if it ever does fill in properly, it will be a longish process. In fact, there are several freshman girls with better facial hair than myself, but I am determined that Mrs. RW will break before I do and demand that I shave it off. After all, it is inconceivable that she might actually like it! Isn’t it?