Here at the Center For Spiritual Growth we have a daily email that goes out to the staff detailing the events and announcements for the week. While some of you might be wondering why there is a daily announcement for weekly events, I might tell you that this is because we are that cool.
Anyway, the person in charge of this mind-numbingly dull and largely redundant task has taken to trying to spice things up by including a little line informing us what people have decided to celebrate today. These things are undoubtedly important to the people who celebrate them, but they are rather bizarre to most everyone else. So far this week we’ve had World Kidney Health Day, National Open Your Umbrella Inside Day, National Get Over It Day, Johnnie Appleseed Day, and National Dream Day.
Since most of these are extremely silly and obviously have little/no importance, I would like to improve the quality of our daily celebrations by suggesting our own. I think that SASS has its collective finger firmly on the pulse of American Concerns and that we are uniquely qualified to create meaningful Days.
For my own humble suggestion I am going to create a Day of mindfulness for a group of often overlooked but serious health concerns. The men in my family are well known for being very well endowed in one particular body part. For the young men in our family it is a source of occasional embarrassment, but as they get older and learn to take proper care of themselves it becomes something of a source of pride.
In order to spread the word about taking proper care of this all important part of the body, I’m hereby declaring this Saturday National Earlobe Day. Earlobe health is a contantly overlooked concern by the average person and I, for one, cannot stand idly by while people continue to fall victim to such maladies as Ear Wax Buildup and Earlobe Burn. Properly taking care of one’s earlobes has been shown to add ten years to your life and make you far more attractive in general.
Don’t forget that tomorrow is National Earlobe Day!
Sarcastically Serious 
And here I thought you would have suggested “National Receding Hairline Day”. My bad!!
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Personnally, me thinks RW doth protest too much. I believe he is still whining because HIS birthday did not chance to fall on Wednesday of this week. This is because the 18th of this month is a MOST propitious day from his perspective. A double special day, in fact, as it is both the birthday of the Pillsbury Doughboy (no need to explain) and it is also the National Lacy Oatmeal Cookie day. We all know the affinity RW has for both cookies and ALL things lacy.
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Silver Fox, “propitious” and “doth” first thing on a Monday morning?!? Have you no compassion, man? And what in the world is a Lacy Oatmeal Cookie? Maybe a regular oatmeal cookie served on a doily? Does that change the taste of the oatmeal cookie, or simply make you feel more like Martha Stewart?
PS: I am declaring next Monday, March 23rd National Nap Day. A day dedicated to celebrating my favorite hobby. You will be allowed, nay, ENCOURAGED to sleep at your desks. This instead of being reprimanded for merely shutting your eyes for a few moments of quiet meditation- as I was earlier this morning.
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