Today is Tacky Something Day here at the Ivory Tower of Apathy, where the students are encouraged to show School Spirit by trying to come up with the tackiest outfit possible and wearing it to school. I’m sorry to report that even though this measure was thought up and implemented by the students themselves, very few of my Eager Learners in first period participated. I had a few that I felt could qualify, but they claimed that they had dressed normally.
In all fairness, I felt that while I might have met the requirements for today’s display of School Spirit, it wouldn’t be fair to mark myself down as an active participant. Why? Because I’m a Science Teacher.
Science Teachers have long ago embraced their particular brand of UnFashion and called it their own. They are not only unafraid to mix stripes with patterns, wear brown belts with black socks, or even rock out the dreaded fanny bag, they are encouraged to do so by the NSTA. It’s all part and parcel of the mystique that surrounds these Test Tube Titans, these Champions of Chemistry, these Lords of Lab Tables. Once it was enough for science teachers to wear lab coats and the occasional goggle to appear retro-geeky enough, but today long coats and chunky glasses are all the rage, so to stay ahead of the curve and maintain our Science Chic, we’ve had to step up our game.
Just the other day Sato mocked my sense of style, but she’s only a drama teacher and necessarily a slave to last year’s science fashion-forward concepts. Give her a few seasons and she’ll be begging for the names of my favorite stores, but by then we’ll have moved on to newer things.
Tomorrow is Super Hero Day here at the Edifice of Ignorance and no doubt many students will dress like their favorite science teacher. Some people will think that they have confused the days of Spirit Week, but the rest of us will know that they have been seduced by the scintillating savvy of science teachers.
(No words were harmed during today’s alliteration, however the English Language suffered several serious seizures and is currently on life support.)