I have been repeatedly struck by the irony of the mega-car companies lately. During my 3 minute commute to work I catch bits and pieces of stories, and usually end up sitting in my car to allow a journalist to finish a sentence, and occasionally I’m lucky enough to hear an entire story. However, these past few weeks of Save the Poor Begging Polluting Manufacturers (that can’t afford a car, so they have to use their private jets) has really got me thinking… and quite honestly I’m shocked that the car industry has been able to survive as long as it has.
I propose that the car manufacturers be required to buy (with our tax dollars of course) all old, rusty, leaking cars out of junk yards and off of peoples’ front lawns in order to design the new and improved model of non-polluting, energy efficient vehicles. 
Let’s get creative folks!
Sarcastically Serious 
I don’t know if you’re taking the full measure of the crisis facing the American Automobile.
If we remove the rusting carcasses of the Golden Age of Automobiles from our front yards, then we’ll be forced to resume mowing our lawns with unregulated gas powered engines, thus causing more pollution than if we had left them there.
Further, if we stop clinging to the outmoded transportation technologies of the 1890’s, what will become of the American Way of Life? What next? Would you have us also abandon the telegraph, the chalkboard, and the milkman? It’s simply unthinkable! We have always prided ourselves as a people that held true to their heritage and traditional way of life.
No, this problem is bigger than the CEO’s of bloated and uncompetitive privately owned businesses. This crisis strikes at the very heart of what it means to Free. I, for one, am more than willing to give multi-billion dollar companies as much money as they need to keep producing pieces of crap that I’ll never buy!
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I miss my chalkboard…and the milkman – what a great concept. I paid big bucks for one back home! I truly am a Neo-Luddite at heart, so I guess I’ll have to deal with the only other option of continuing to buy foreign cars; because no matter the cost it’s the right thing to do. Those poor people having to sell their jets though – I just feel terrible!
I’m glad that our environmental leaders were finally given the funds to make the difference that only they can. I for one feel like I’ve done my philanthropic deed for the millennium.
In the words of our good friend nerosremorse,
“It’s good to do good, for the good.”
Never were words uttered so profound.
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