Hurray! Thanksgiving!

tofu-turkey-header

Here are 10 reasons why we should all be looking forward to Thanksgiving:

10. This is the only day where it is not only socially acceptable to be a glutton, but possible to use this behavior as an excuse to not do dishes.

9. This is the perfect holiday to make everyone uncomfortable with your political views because no one wants to leave the table.

8. Your cousin may show up and describe how much better their life is than yours.

7. You may cook something incorrectly and single-handedly ruin everyone’s holiday.

6. A member of your extended family might ask if you’re still gay, single, or just a teacher.

5. You will have to sit at the kid’s table… with your kids.

4. Grandma could get drunk and share inappropriate stories about her stint with the USO.

3. You get to use the bathroom after Uncle Roger, who should’ve passed on the green beans.

2. Super Bowl Thursday!

1. Now we get to look forward to the “Hap, Hap, Happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny &%$# Kay!”

Here’s to hoping that this Thanksgiving is the best ever!

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2 thoughts on “Hurray! Thanksgiving!

  1. irishpirate81

    Excellent, and truthful, list to get me in the holiday spirit!

    But you have left out my favorite (read: most dreaded) Thanksgiving moment: When you’re kooky (read: insane ex drug addict) aunt insists you go around the table and each say what we are thankful for. And while everyone goes around with their sentimental (read: bull@#$%) list of love, peace, family, blah, blah, blah; I’m sitting there racking my addled (read: intoxicated) brain trying to think of ONE thing that has happened in the last year that I am grateful for! Should I be thankful to that guy (read: loser) who dumped me (“I don’t know why I can’t keep a guy either, Mom”), or maybe I should be thankful for my new credit score of 300 (low is good right?), or could I be thankful for the extra 10 pounds I put on since summer that someone (read: my mother) has already pointed out?

    If this happens to you, I give you a safe and honest answer that I end up going with every year. “I am thankful for the wonderful spread in front of me” (read: glass of wine).

    Happy Thanksgiving!

    Like

  2. nerosremorse59

    Thanks for the reminders, rockwalker, of why I love thanksgiving. Moreover, I am traveling in order to enjoy the 10 Gifts of the Season.

    My personal Tora Boras include #8 (my cousin finished her diss and is at Ole Miss; I have not and I am here…) and #6 (yes, no, yes — to same cousin and parents).

    But it is early release day here in the Land of Just-Teachers, and I plan to enjoy it.

    Happy Day, y’all!

    Like

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