Crushing me Slowly


Ever since that fateful ride home where, shaken and horrified to realize that Sato had it in for me, I accidently ran over the neighbor’s poodle, God has decided to punish me. I know that some of you will protest either that God doesn’t do such things anymore, or they haven’t heard any rumors of pillars of salt or inexplicable lightning bolts, but I can assure you that this is the case.

You have to understand that I was raised catholic and God has reserved a special punishment for this group of his chosen people; guilt. I’m sure that the non-catholic among you are wondering what could possibly be so horrible about that, but until you’ve had the Almighty smite you with Catholic Guilt, you just can’t understand.

Of course I suffer from the ordinary guilt of all catholics; Original Sin, the Spanish Inquisition, unfaithful priests, and my inability to tithe 50% of my earnings to the church, but I consider that “background guilt” and not really worthy of special notice anymore.

What I’m talking about today is the crushing guilt of two recent events, neither or which I’m responsible for, but have left me awake in a cold sweat two nights in a row. A dear friend of mine (a SASS member, but not a poster), has been put in (not quite) mortal danger and possibly infected through associating with dogs and people for which I’m responsible. Of course she has absolved me of any wrongdoing, but this is Divinely Appointed Guilt we’re talking about and is not so easily dismissed.

There are several ways to deal with this guilt, but I don’t have a son or a nearby desert. So I suppose that like most catholics I’ll just have to weather it until I’ve suffered enough. So if I seem despondent, depressed, or surly (I mean, more than usual) please understand that this is a trying time for me and afford me some sympathy.


One thought on “Crushing me Slowly

  1. livebait1

    RW –
    Stop taking your guilt-ridden grief out on poor poodles and other four-legged creatures.
    It sounds like you’d enjoy A.J. Jacobs’ book – The Year of Living Biblically. Maybe then you’ll come up with some more answers perhaps wearing fringe on your clothing, or not sitting on seats shared with menstruating women. Keep on searching…


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